Earlier, I posted Chapter 1-16 of my new series of blogs, which will collectively form an online book. Below, I have attached Chapter 17.

Chapter 17: The power of taking actions.

Disclaimer: Since this is primarily a fictional story, please do not take everything I write too seriously

[…] “Is that clear?” the principal interrupted my thoughts with this sudden question.

“Yes, it’s clear,” I replied, my voice tinged with worry. “But does this mean I have to pass three exams without any study materials? Which specific books or resources should I use to prepare?”

She smiled and explained, “These are the regular HAVO final exams, the same ones Dutch students take before they can attend university. You’ll be tested at the same level. To prepare, you can study what Dutch students study for their exams. You might consider hiring a tutor who offers homework guidance and helps with exam preparation. Another option is to visit the library, where you’ll find many books to help you get ready.”

She then added, her tone more serious, “But keep in mind, the exams will be held in just three months, before the summer. You need to pass all of them on your first try. If you fail, you won’t be able to join this special program for highly educated immigrants from outside Europe this year.”

Her smile returned as she concluded, “However, if you pass all three exams, you’ll be welcome to start at our school on September 1st. Then, within one year, you’ll be able to pursue any bachelor’s degree you want in the Netherlands. Your dreams and ambitions could become a reality,” she finished with an encouraging smile.

I smiled with genuine happiness, realizing that for the first time in the Netherlands, someone had given me a clear and honest chance to prove my skills and knowledge. It was a fair opportunity.

I said, “Thank you so much for this chance. I will never forget it! I promise to do my best not to disappoint you, even though I’m a bit young and don’t meet all the requirements. ” I smiled warmly.

My brother and I thanked the kind woman and said goodbye. With our hearts full of joy, we left the building.

When we got home, I hugged my parents in excitement. I excitedly shared the entire story, explaining that I might be accepted into this special program. I also told them that I needed to pass three exams in three months, and I was expected to pass all of them on the first attempt.

Turning to my father, I said, “Dad, I’m almost sure I’ll be accepted into this school. However, this means I might not be able to finish my current education because I need to focus entirely on preparing for these exams. So please,” I added, a bit frustrated, “don’t make it difficult for me by insisting that I complete my current education. I just don’t have the time or energy for it. ”

Seeing how determined I was, even though I was only 16, my father wished me good luck and understood how important this opportunity was for me

The Monday after my decision, I went to school and met with my career counselor to share the exciting news. I explained that I had been offered an extraordinary opportunity to study elsewhere, which would allow me to fast-track my way into higher education. Because of this, I would need to skip many of the school’s regular classes, attending only to complete essential assignments and exams.

My career counselor was visibly concerned. He feared that managing both my current coursework and the new exams would be too challenging and that I might end up failing both. Despite his well-intentioned worries, his words did not sway me. My determination was unwavering, and my past performance supported my decision – I had consistently achieved high marks in my exams, even while frequently missing classes. With a resigned sigh, he wished me good luck with my preparations.

After my meeting at school, I went to the company where I was interning. I informed my internship supervisor that I would be reducing my hours at the office due to this remarkable opportunity. I thanked her sincerely and gave her a warm hug for the invaluable guidance she had provided throughout my internship. While she understood my decision, she cautioned me that I would likely need to restart the internship because I wouldn’t meet the required number of hours.

I acknowledged her concerns but made it clear that the internship was no longer my priority. My focus was now entirely on the new educational opportunity. I adjusted my schedule to free up all my time so that I could devote myself fully to preparing for the upcoming exams.

In the following three months, I immersed myself in studying with intense dedication. I spent long hours in the library, arriving early in the morning and staying until it closed in the evening. At home, my routine was equally rigorous: I would quickly eat and then lock myself in my room to study late into the night. My bed became my study haven, strewn with textbooks, notes, and a sense of relentless focus as I prepared for my exams.

I also vividly remember purchasing textbooks recommended for Dutch students preparing for the Havo final exams and borrowing a variety of practice exams from the library. I threw myself into studying from early morning until late at night.

Even though I was proficient in Dutch, I struggled with math and English. The main issue with math was that the teaching methods in the Netherlands were very different from those in the countries where I had previously studied. In the Netherlands, there’s a strong focus on using graphical calculators, which were completely unfamiliar to me. At the schools I attended abroad, calculators – especially graphical ones – were not allowed in class, and students could even be sent out of the classroom for using them. This new Dutch approach, which encouraged the use of calculators, was entirely new to me and required extra practice to get ready for the exams.

Three months flew by quickly. When it was time to return to Utrecht, I traveled alone by train, which was an adventure in itself. I began my exams in math, English, and Dutch. I distinctly recall during the math exam, a supervisor came to my desk and asked why I wasn’t using the calculator more often. I explained that I wasn’t comfortable with calculators, as I had always solved math problems manually using mental calculations and handwritten methods. This is how I completed my first Havo exam, tackling math problems without using a calculator.” I smiled as I reflected on the experience.

“Reflecting on this now, I find it amusing to see the contrast between how math is taught abroad and in Europe. It’s striking how students here seem to struggle with even basic calculations without a calculator,” I said with a smile.

“That’s true,” Elara said thoughtfully. “I’ve noticed significant differences in how students elsewhere approach learning. Theytend to be more critical and excel in subjects like math compared to students here,” she admitted. “Unfortunately, this gap has serious long-term consequences.”

“Yes, I agree,” I responded.

“Returning to our main topic,” I continued, “after the exam, I was utterly exhausted. I remember it clearly – when I came home, I collapsed into bed and slept for over two weeks. The mental and physical fatigue was overwhelming, but I kept telling myself it would all be worth it.

Two weeks later, I received a phone call from the school. With a flutter of excitement, I answered the phone, which my father had brought to me. On the other end was a man, who informed me with great enthusiasm that I had passed all three exams. I was invited to join the new program at the school starting September 1st.

I was so elated that I barely processed the rest of the conversation. All I could think about was that a long-awaited door of opportunity had finally opened for me. This was my chance to study at a higher level in the Netherlands, pursue my dream job, build a fulfilling career, and hopefully make a significant impact on the world.

Relief washed over me as I realized I was free from the constraints and bureaucratic hurdles that had been frustrating international students like me in the Netherlands. I was thrilled at the prospect of attending a school that was better suited to my abilities and ambitions.

After hanging up the phone, I was bursting with joy. I excitedly shared the news with my parents, jumping up and down with happiness. To celebrate, I insisted we go out for a special meal. We went to a restaurant with the entire family, savoring the moment and marking this significant milestone in my journey.”

“Unfortunately, the happiness didn’t last long.” Feeling weighed down by these disappointing memories, I looked away and continued my story: “The next day, I went to the city office to ask for help with my school expenses. I needed support not just for tuition but also for travel costs, as my school was 70 kilometers away in Utrecht.

At the city office, the employee behind the counter informed me that I was ineligible for financial aid. Since I was under 18 and didn’t receive social benefits, I couldn’t get financial assistance for my education or travel expenses. They suggested I contact the IB Group, a Dutch organization that helps students with financial support for higher education. However, when I called the IB Group, I received more disappointing news. They said that because I was not yet 18, I didn’t qualify for student funding or a free travel pass. This meant I could not get also the OV-card, a card which provides free travel for students in the Netherlands. They had no other options for me, so I would either need to find a job or wait until I turned 18 to cover my expenses.

Frustrated and disappointed, I returned home and explained the situation to my father. I told him that no organization would cover my travel costs and that getting to Utrecht would be very expensive. Seeing my distress, my father reassured me, “Don’t worry. We have some savings that can help you for the next year or two until you can manage your travel expenses. Meanwhile, you might also find a part-time job to ease your financial worries.” His support was a great comfort. I hugged him and thanked him for his help. His reassurance removed financial obstacles and paved the way for my success.”

Elara leaned back, clearly interested. “What a story!” she said, impressed. “It is especially remarkable that you have followed a very different path from most students and young people in the Netherlands.”

“Yes, it is quite special,” I agreed, reflecting on the important moments that shaped my life. “However, I have learned some key lessons from my unique experiences. First, when it seems like all usual options are closed, you need to create your own opportunities and unique options. This is especially true in a competitive environment where traditional paths are limited.”

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, recalling the importance of each critical decision I made. “Secondly, I realized that it is very important to have a few select individuals in our lives who genuinely believe in our potential. In my case, this support network consisted primarily of my family, especially my parents, and an insightful school director who provided me with a fair opportunity. Believing in oneself is crucial, but having a solid support system can be equally transformative. For instance, my father offered financial backing until I was able to independently fund my education. His unwavering support was the foundation upon which my achievements were built.”

Elara nodded, relating my insights to her own experiences. “That’s absolutely true. My own path has also been greatly influenced by the support of my family, which played a substantial role in my accomplishments,” she remarked, her smile reflecting a shared experience. “Unfortunately, not everyone has such strong support. Still, making progress always starts with that first important step, which involves taking initiative and working to change the things we want to improve.”

“Exactly,” I said confidently. “My father always said that making a strong decision is half the battle when it comes to success. It all starts with a clear choice and then sticking to it with determination. Once you decide and commit, everything else will start falling into place, turning what once seemed impossible into something real.”

I let my words sink in, letting their meaning fill the room. “It’s also important to remember that this was my first big lesson about how rules are made by people and can be changed if needed. This is especially true in areas where rules and policies are involved.”

Elara leaned in, clearly intrigued.

“This realization taught me that people in influential positions can sometimes make exceptions to usual rules for those who don’t fit the standard mold,” I explained. “To take advantage of this, it’s important not just to connect with these influential people but also to give them strong reasons to rethink their usual practices. Anyone looking to make real change needs to be skilled at setting up important meetings and presenting their ideas clearly and professionally. This approach works in various settings, from corporate offices to government buildings.”

“Exactly,” Elara agreed, her eyes showing she understood. “From my experience as a political journalist, I’ve seen how policies and situations can change when people make a strong case, build support from key players, and apply pressure. Using solid data to back up your arguments can be very convincing in these discussions.”

“Yes,” I said with a nod, “that’s the core of making real changes happen. I’ll go into more detail about specific strategies for influencing change in structured environments in our next discussions in future.”

As our conversation drew to a close, I noticed the rain beginning to pour outside, its steady rhythm tapping against the windowpane. People hurried to clear the streets, and others rushed home, marking the end of the day. The café we were in started to empty, its atmosphere shifting to a more contemplative mood. This reflective setting seemed to mirror the depth of our discussion, providing a fitting conclusion to our insightful conversation.

I continued, “It’s worth noting that this special school was the first of its kind in the Netherlands, established specifically for individuals like me – those who didn’t have a formal Dutch education and wanted to start fresh. Because the school was so successful, it was expanded across the country after a few years, giving thousands of others the chance to quickly pursue higher education without following the usual path.

The school I was going to attend was started in 1995 by a group of forward-thinking educators and policymakers who saw a big need. They realized many adults, due to life situations like wars or other problems, had missed out on traditional education. So, they designed a curriculum that was both challenging and flexible, fitting different schedules and learning speeds. What made this school special was its strong support system, including academic advice, which made sure students could not only learn but also use their skills in the real world.

This experience taught me also that with a bit of effort, self-belief, and the bravery to go after opportunities that seem out of reach, you can change your own life and also create chances for others in the future. The impact of such programs can be really significant.”

I smiled and continued, “You know, my experience reminded me of a story I particularly enjoyed.”

Elara, intrigued, asked, “What is it?”

“Well,” I said, “back in 2022, I saw a viral video on YouTube that I found really interesting. It showed a young bird trying to eat worms placed right in front of it. The bird kept failing because it was so used to its mother putting the worms directly into its mouth. The bird just kept opening its mouth, expecting the worms to hop in. This went on for over 10 minutes, but the little bird still couldn’t get the worm, even though it was right in front of its beak.

This behavior is a great example of a concept from behavioral economics called ‘learned helplessness,’ which was introduced by American psychologist Martin Seligman. The bird had become so dependent on its mother that it didn’t know how to act on its own. Many people are similar – they wait passively for opportunities to come to them instead of taking action to find and seize what’s available.

The similarity between the bird and people is striking. Many of us expect opportunities and success to come easily, even when clear chances are right in front of us. However, research in cognitive psychology shows that this behavior is often due to something called ‘action bias,’ where people don’t act because they perceive the task as too difficult or complex. Without even making a significant effort, they quickly conclude that it’s not something for them.

From my own experience, I learned at a young age that nothing happens for those who simply wait. Success comes to those who actively seize what’s in front of them. So, if we want the life we dream of, we need to take action and stop complaining about the other birds that are thriving while we’re still waiting for some miracle.

Of course, I’m not saying it’s easy to achieve success, but it doesn’t come automatically. Sometimes, we need to create paths where none seem to exist.”